A Letter to my Dear Phraand Dolaand

From the Supreme Leader

To Mr. Dolaand Traamp

28th August 2025

Subject: You done not good big big Tariff you apply

Mr. Dolaand, this is very very wrong things you have done on today. You have imposed a big large tariff of more than phifty percent on number one country India. This is against technology and tradition. In today times, we has come as new super powerhouse force. You impose tariff on us, but we sapot you before. Do not you remember my Phraand, that I canvassed for you myself? I shouted on top my lungs "Vote for my Phraand Dolaand" "Abki Baar Dolaand Sarkar", "Make World Great Again" "Maga plus Miga equal to Mega" have you forget all?

We are better than Amrika

My Phraand, this is betrayal of much big size. My whole country, including my phavorite Yoga Guru said that Traamp is India's Phraand, but you done big wrong. Today we are emerging as the galaxy's biggest economy. Our per capita might be 2,500 USD and our manufacturing might be weaker than Bangladesh, but don't underestimate us, our youngsters are very good and nice sanskaari boys, marriage done only within caste group and full Dahej taken also without regret.

Phraand, this is not good boy behaviour. I sapoted you because you hate minorities, immigrants, black people and women, but today you put such huge big tariff on number one superpower economy like us? Wrong thing done by you and your white leaders. We will give solid answer. We will not eat Dominos, only homemade paratha and sabji. We will replace Pepsi with CampaCola, your economy will face tough time.

Wrong Journalism

Now point by point let me expose you, everyone knows your reality Dolaand, in country yours, people marriaging whoever they like, white marrying black, black marrying white, christian marriaging atheist, we do not allow any such anti national activity. In country ours, only fair boy marry fair girl, caste and kundli check, Dahej rate fixed and then only marriage performed also. I say with pride, that my country marriage industry bigger than my country IT industry also. In your country, men women hold hand in public, in our country, we apply UAPA on such Marxist peoples. In yours country, women become astronauts, in country ours we burn girls if Dahej amount not satisfactory. You think to compete with us on bigotry factor? Loser.

In your country, you do this nonsense of phreedom of speech, in country ours, we break comedy studios. I say with pride today in country, no one speaks against me and if they do my minions give them threats also. Let me expose you more also. In your country, people have quality of life, but we do things differently here. In our number one country, we have life without quality. Anyone raising question or doing Marxist propaganda of Free Speech is handled swiftly. One more exposing I do, in your country, people shake other people's hand, very wrong, in our great big number one culture, we touch feet of elders, even if the elder is a disgusting bigoted misogynist racist casteist, but elder also he is, hence feet touching. We have simple rule,"if born before, touch feet therefore".

You think your tariff scare me? No Dolaand not at all. I will rig the economy report, then what you do? I will also find the boy writing this satire article and manage him also, because I believe in management of criticism, not resolution. People who write and talk against me are all Marxist communist terrorist Stalinist Leninist Maosit Urban Naxal Tukde Tukde Gang and Khan Market Gang. My dear Phraand Doorknob also tolden me. You say tariff attack me? But I will not allow people to know only, what then you do?

Let me expose you more once also. In your country, you have Fox news, but you have also MSNBC and CNN, but in our country, no such leftist drama. All media I have set already. All primetime channel question opposition, this is my style Dolaand. If media questioning me, then that is anti-national media, because I am the nation myself. Why you allow media criticism? Because you weak, I big and strong. I used media to say only one narrative, no other side nonsense allowed. Other side is all naxal and terrorist. In today India, media done only what I tell, if you tell another, you get threat call. Doorknob is my phavorite journalist, true journalist, never koschan me, only koschan appostion. True national is only citizen, only sapot no issue.

True Journalists

Today India, women have onle one job, to gain puberty and get married, because she belongs inside house. What leftist drama your country doing? Allowing women to do what study and job they want, marry who they want, this is against traditional values. In country ours women are a liability, you treating them like asset, wrong boy you are. In today India, inter-caste marriage also not done, and you allowing inter-race marriage, that's why your country going down and my country go up. Allowing so much freedom and growth is so much wrong. Women being unmarried? So wrong and against tradition. Today we treat our own daughters, like outside person, hence number one. Gender equality is idea of Urban Naxal Tukde Tukde Gang. Real equality is women inside kitchen and inside duppata and chunni. Recently in Noida also, one girl burnt alive for low Dahej given. This leftist drama of women being equal will not be tolerated.

In your country you discuss useless thing like Economy and wealth equality and quality of life, in today India we discuss only Jihaad. Only Jihaad, no bakwaas. From 5 pm to 11 pm, every evening, discuss only Jihaad. Many difference types of Jihaad. Media Management very important, or else people talk of manufacturing and such Naxal statements. Anyone trying to discuss on development and growth is anti national person and will be managed. Any criticism is equal to Anti. Hence full management we also do. Let me give you a list also, you can manage using this:

Student Ask Job - Urban Naxal

Women Want Danger Free - Maoist

Children Want Playground - Khan Market

Economist Ask- JNU gang

Press Freedom Ask - Pakistani

Comedian Make Joke - Anti National

Journalist Ask- Presstitute

Elder Want Insurance- Old Communist

Rally Against Dahej - Feminist Terrorist

Poor Want Money - Bhikmanga

Apposition - Terrorist Thief

So Dolaand tell me now? You think you are better than us? Just because you have better education, technology, infrastructure, growth, freedom of speech, gender equality and prosperous life? Nonsense. Total nonsense. We are better. We do full management, media management, religion management and student management. You fail in management class in college I assume. You learn from us. Learn from us and you then only you Make America Great Again.

Any and all resemblance to any person dead or alive is purely coincidental. This is purely satirical.