1) Pay attention to how you deal with difficulties. We frequently make unpleasant situations even more difficult by adding to them. Keep track of how your body feels, your emotions, and your thoughts. Are you predicting a period of trouble years down the road? Do you have feelings of regret or resentment? Also, start to isolate your perspective from the event itself (This shouldn't be! Nothing ever changes; I should be able to handle this on my own). Children learn more from what you do than from what you say, so your resilience—the way you handle hardship in front of them—has an impact on them.
2) Notice how you react to setbacks. Many people's responses to misfortune appear to be factual. That is how those folks are. Never will my child... I'm not the type to... Ask yourself, "Is it true?" when you notice those recurrent ideas. Recognize your assumptions and projections for what they are, and see what happens when you consider different options.
3) Form alliances and accept assistance. Relationships with close relatives and friends are important, so value them and seek help when you need it.
4) Make an effort to realize that change and uncertainty are an inevitable part of life. Fighting with what is actually beyond our control is a widespread misconception that hinders well-being and resilience. Even if something distressing occurs, keep the experience separate from a larger expectation that it "shouldn't" have occurred in the first place.
5) Create a step-by-step plan and act decisively. Stay proactive rather than detached and wishing stress away. When things appear impossible to complete, ask yourself, "What's one small thing I can do to move me in the direction I want to go?"
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